The Spoily Brats
The Spoily Brats was a serial I developed for a planned paperback reprint (by Harper Collins) of the Series of Unfortunate Events books by Lemony Snicket. The first three books were printed, and none after that; by now I think the rights have reverted to me. completed nine chapters, and wrote the scripts for the final four; I present here all of it, such as it is.
THE SPOILY BRATS PART TEN
PAGE ONE
TITLE
SYNOPSIS: BIG-HEAD RANDALL, THE NOTORIOUS ARCH-CRIMINAL, HAS KIDNAPPED A LOOK-ALIKE FOR THE PRINCE OF RUTABAGIA , WHERE HE HOPES TO START A CRIMINAL DYNASTY! THE KIDS HAVE ONE DAY TO STOP HIM...
PANEL ONE: THE KIDS ON A MAGIC CARPET
RICHARD: GOOD THING THE PROFESSOR HAD THIS MAGIC CARPET!
ISABELLA- WE'RE MAKING GOOD SPEED... WE'LL EASILY MAKE RUTABAGIA BY DAYBREAK!
PANEL TWO: THE KIDS & CARPET IN FRONT OF THE MOON
LET'S GET A FEW HOURS SLEEP! WE'LL NEED OUR WITS ABOUT US TOMORROW.
PANEL THREE: THE CARPET FLYING THROUGH THE NIGHT.
RICHARD: ZZZZZZ
ISABELLA: ZZZZZZ
PAGE TWO
PANEL ONE: A LITTLE MAN IN A BOAT.
MAN: IT'S A NICE DAY FOR SAILING.
PANEL TWO: THE PERSPECTIVE WIDENS TO SHOW A GIANT CAT PEERING OVER THE HORIZON LINE.
MAN: I'M GLAD THAT GIANT CAT IS NOT HERE TO SPOIL THINGS!
PANEL THREE: THE SAME VIEW FADING AS A SPEECH BALLOON IS SUPERIMPOSED ON IT.
VOICE: RICHARD, WAKE UP!
PANEL FOUR: RICHARD WAKES UP WITH ISABELLA SHAKING HIS SHOULDER.
ISABELLA: WAKE UP, RICHARD!
RICHARD: HUH? I'M AWAKE!
PANEL FIVE: ISABELLA
ISABELLA: WE'RE ALMOST TO RUTABAGIA, BUT I SEE SOMETHING STRANGE IN THE FOREST BELOW...
PANEL SIX: ISABELLA POINTS.
ISABELLA: LOOK, THERE!
PANEL SEVEN: WE SEE OVER THE KIDS AS ISABELLA POINTS TO A GLOW IN THE FOREST BELOW.
ISABELLA: A BLUE GLOW! WE HAVE TIME, WE SHOULD STOP AND INVESTIGATE!
PAGE THREE
PANEL ONE: RICHARD AND ISABELLA.
RICHARD: WHAT? BUT THE CORONATION...
ISABELLA: THAT'S NOT FOR ELEVEN HOURS! WE CAN JUST GO DOWN AND TAKE A LOOK...
PANEL TWO: ISABELLA AND RICHARD.
RICHARD: WELL... OKAY!
ISABELLA: CARPET, TAKE US DOWN!
PANEL THREE: THE CARPET FLOATS DOWN TO THE TREES.
CAPTION: THE CARPET FLOATS GENTLY DOWN...
PANEL FOUR: THE KIDS ON THE GROUND.
ISABELLA: THE GLOW WAS COMING FROM OVER THERE.
PANEL FIVE: THE KIDS SEEN THROUGH SOME LEAVES.
ISABELLA: I FEEL AS IF WE'RE BEING WATCHED.
PANEL SIX: A VOICE COMES FROM OUT OF THE FOLIAGE.
VOICE: HELLO CHILDREN...
PANEL SEVEN: THE KIDS.
ISABELLA: WHO IS THAT?
PAGE FOUR
PANEL ONE: THE KIDS LOOKING AT THE BUSHES FROM WHICH THE VOICE IS COMING.
VOICE: I AM A FRIEND! PLEASE COME OVER AND VISIT ME...
PANEL TWO: THE KIDS MOVE INTO THE SHADOWS.
CAPTION: THE KIDS MOVE INTO THE SHADOWS...
ISABELLA: IT'S HARD TO SEE IN HERE, ARE YOU...
PANEL THREE: THE KIDS ARE CONFRONTED WITH A GIANT SPIDER IN HIS WEB. HE IS GRINNING HORRIBLY AND BRANDISHING A KNIFE AND FORK, WEARING A NAPKIN.
KIDS: AAAAH!
SPIDER: HELLO CHILDREN!
PANEL FOUR: THE KIDS SHOOT AWAY.
SPIDER: WAIT, COME BACK!
PANEL FIVE: THE KIDS RUNNING.
VOICE: YOU LOOK DELICIOUS...
PAGE FIVE
PANEL ONE: THE KIDS STOP RUNNING.
RICHARD: I THINK WE'RE FAR AWAY ENOUGH NOW...
PANEL TWO: THE KIDS LOOKING AROUND, WORRIED.
ISABELLA: WHICH DIRECTION WAS THE CARPET IN?
RICHARD: IT WAS, UH...
PANEL THREE: THEIR IS A SNAP.
SFX: SNAP
RICHARD: WHAT WAS THAT?
PANEL FOUR: ANOTHER VOICE STARTLES THE KIDS.
VOICE: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
PANEL FIVE: THE KIDS ARE CONFRONTED WITH A SKELETON HOLDING A SPEAR AND WEARING A CAPE.
SKELETON: YOU ARE TRESPASSING ON THE DOMAIN OF THE SPIDER PEOPLE!
CAPTION: JOIN US NEXT TIME TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRESPASS ON THE DOMAIN OF THE SKELETON PEOPLE!
THE SPOILY BRATS PART ELEVEN
PAGE ONE
TITLE
SYNOPSIS: EN ROUTE TO STOP A CORONATION, THE KIDS TOOK THEIR MAGIC CARPET DOWN TO CHECK OUT A GREEN GLOW IN THE FOREST... AND CAME FACE TO FACE WITH A SKELETON AMN!
PANEL ONE: THE KIDS FACE TO FACE WITH THE SKELETON MAN.
SKELETON: YOU ARE TRESPASSING ON THE DOMAIN OF THE SPIDER PEOPLE!
PANEL TWO: RICHARD STEPS FORWARD.
RICHARD: WE MEAN NO DISRESPECT! WE MERELY WERE CURIOUS ABOUT THE GREEN GLOW!
PANEL THREE: THE SKELETON MAN
SKELETON: THE GREEN GLOW? YOU SHALL SEE THE GREEN GLOW!
PAGE TWO
PANEL ONE: THE KIDS WITH THE SKELETON, ON A HILLSIDE. THE SKELETON IS POINTING TO A HUGE GLOWING GEM STUCK IN THE TOP OF A TREE.
SKELETON: THERE IT IS- THE CURSED GIANT EMERALD OF KREMMONGLAYS!
PANEL TWO: SKELETON MAN.
SKELETON: A PASSING ROC DROPPED IT IN THAT TREE... NOW IT'S CURSED RAYS HAVE TURNED US ALL INTO SKELETON PEOPLE!
PANEL THREE: THE KIDS AND THE SKELETON.
ISABELLA: WE MAY BE ABLE TO HELP!
SKELETON: REALLY?
PANEL FOUR: THE SKELETON PUTS HIS HAND ON RICHARD'S SHOULDER.
SKELETON: THIS IS GLORIOUS NEWS! COME, MEET MY FELLOW SKELETON MEN SO THAT YOU MAY EXPLAIN TO ALL OF US!
PANEL FIVE: THE CHILDREN WALKING BEHIND THE SKELETON.
CAPTION: THE CHILDREN FOLLOW THE SKELETON FOR A LITTLE WHILE UNTIL...
PANEL SIX: THE THREE COME INTO A LITTLE VILLAGE SCENE WITH SKELETONS INSTEAD OF PEOPLE.
SKELETON: EVERYONE, COME AND MEET THESE REMARKABLE CHILDREN! THEY MAY BE ABLOE TO HELP US!
PAGE THREE
PANEL ONE: THE KIDS SURROUNDED BY SKELETON PEOPLE.
ISABELLA: WE HAVE A MAGIC CARPET. IF WE CAN DISLODGE THE STONE, COULD YOU DESTROY IT AND LIFT THE CURSE?
PANEL TWO: SKELETON PEOPLE.
SKELETON: YES! ONCE IT'S OUT OF THAT TREE...
SKELETON 2:WE CAN DESTROY IT!
PANEL THREE: THE KIDS AND SKELETONS.
ISABELLA: WE JUST NEED TO FIND OUR WAY BACK TO OUR CARPET...
PANEL FOUR: THE KIDS WITH A SKELETON POINTING TO THEIR CARPET.
SKELETON: THERE IS YOUR CARPET!
RICHARD: EXCELLENT!
PANEL FIVE: THE KIDS AND THE SKELETON.
ISABELLA: YOU BE READY ON THE GROUND!
SKELETON: WE WILL!
PANEL SIX: THE KIDS ON THE CARPET FLOATING OUT OF THE FOREST.
CAPTION: THE CARPET FLOATS UP OUT OF THE FOREST...
PAGE FOUR
PANEL ONE: RICHARD, LOOKING SHOCKED.
VOICE: RICHARD...
RICHARD: GASP!
PANEL TWO: RICHARD AND HIS SISTER, WHO IS NOW A SKELETON.
ISABELLA: I'VE BECOME A SKELETON!
PANEL THREE: ISABELLA.
ISABELLA: THE CURSE MUST BE WORKING ON US NOW TOO! IN FACT...
PANEL FOUR: THE TWO ARE BOTH SKELETONS NOW.
ISABELLA:... NOW YOU'RE A SKELETON TOO!
PANEL FIVE: THE CARPET IS CLOSE TO THE GLOW.
RICHARD: THERE IT IS! LET'S PUSH IT DOWN AND END THE CURSE, RIGHT AWAY!
ISABELLA: YES, I DON'T ENJOY BEING A SKELETON ONE BIT!
PANEL SIX: THE SKELETON KIDS PUSHING THE GIANT JEWEL.
CAPTION: THE CHILDREN SHOVE THE GIANT JEWEL LOOSE...
PANEL SEVEN: THE EMERALD FALLS.
CAPTION: ...UNTIL THE MASSIVE EMERALD FALLS!
PAGE FIVE
PANEL ONE: THE SKELETON PEOPLE BASHING THE DIAMOND WITH VARIOUS INSTRUMENTS.
CAPTION: THE SKELETON PEOPLE FINISH THE JOB!
SKELETON: DESTROY IT!
PANEL TWO: THE KIDS, THEMSELVES AGAIN, ON THE CARPET.
RICHARD: THEY'VE DONE IT!
ISABELLA: WE'RE BACK TO NORMAL!
PANEL THREE: THE SKELETONS TURN BACK INTO PEOPLE.
MAN: IT'S WORKED!
WOMAN: HURRAH!
PANEL FOUR: THE PEOPLE WAVE TO THE CARPET.
PEOPLE: THANK YOU, CHILDREN!
PANEL FIVE: THE KIDS ON THE CARPET.
ISABELLA: THAT DIDN'T TAKE TOO LONG.
RICHARD: NOW LET'S FINISH OUR ADVENTURE!
CAPTION: WHAT AN INTERESTING DIVERSION. ONLY TWO EPISODES TO GO, WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN?
THE SPOILY BRATS PART TWELVE
PAGE ONE
TITLE
SYNOPSIS: THE CHILDREN JUST TOOK A DETOUR FROM THEIR MAIN ADVENTURE TO SOLVE THE PROBLEMS OF THE SKELETON PEOPLE. NOW THEY'RE BACK ON THEIR MAGIC CARPET, HEADING TO RUTABAGIA TO STOP A CORONATION!
PANEL ONE: THE KIDS ON THE CARPET, FLYING THROUGH THE SKY.
ISABELLA: I CAN SEE THE CASTLE - THERE!
RICHARD: NOTHING CAN STOP US NOW!
PANEL TWO: THE KIDS ON THE CARPET SEEN FROM A DISTANCE.
RICHARD: I HOPE WE CAN GET SOMETHING TO EAT, I'M HUNGRY!
PANEL THREE: AN ENORMOUS OPEN BEAK APPEARS, OPEN TO SWALLOW THE KIDS & CARPET.
ISABELLA: I WONDER WHAT RUTABAGIAN CUISINE IS LIKE!
PAGE TWO
PANEL ONE: THE KIDS ON CARPET SEEN FROM IN FRONT. AN ENORMOUS BIRD WITH IT'S BEAK WIDE OPEN IS BEHIND THEM, THE BEAK YAWNING WIDELY.
RICHARD: PERHAPS THEY EAT SOME KIND OF EGG-BASED DISH!
PANEL TWO: THE BEAK SNAPS SHUT.
PANEL THREE: THE BIRD FLIES TOWARDS A MOUNTAIN..
PANEL FOUR: THERE IS A NEST ON THE SIDE OF THE MOUNTAIN. THE BIRD FLIES TOWARDS IT.
PANEL FIVE: THE BIRD LANDS ON THE NEST.
PAGE THREE
PANEL ONE: THE BIRD SITS ON THE NEST.
PANEL TWO: THE BIRD ON THE NEST.
BIRD: CAW!
PANEL THREE: THE BIRD IS STRAINING.
CAPTION: SOMETHING IS HAPPENING!
PANEL FOUR: THE BIRD MIMES RELEASE.
SFX: PLOP! PLOP!
PANEL FIVE: THERE ARE TWO EGGS IN THE NEST. THE BIRD STANDS AND LOOKS AT THEM WITH PRIDE.
PANEL SIX: THE BIRD CROWS WITH DELIGHT.
BIRD: CAWWW!!
PANEL SEVEN: THE BIRD FLIES AWAY FROM THE NEST.
PANEL EIGHT: THE EGGS IN THE NEST.
PAGE FOUR
PANEL ONE: THE EGGS IN THE NEST.
PANEL TWO: THE EGGS IN THE NEST. A VOICE COMES FROM ONE.
VOICE: ISABELLA?
PANEL THREE: THE EGGS.
VOICE 2: YES, RICHARD?
VOICE: WHAT HAS HAPPENED?
PANEL FOUR: EGGS.
VOICE 2: I APPEAR TO BE ENCASED IN SOMETHING... FROM THE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE YOU APPEAR TO BE ENCASED AS WELL.
PANEL FIVE: THE EGGS.
VOICE: CAN YOU MOVE?
VOICE 2: I SEEM TO BE ABLE TO ROCK A LITTLE...
PANEL SIX: THE TWO EGGS ARE ROCKING IN THE NEST.
VOICE: SO CAN I! I FEEL MOVEMENT...
VOICE 2: LET'S ROCK MORE AGGRESSIVELY AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
PANEL SEVEN: THE EGGS FALL OUT OF THE NEST.
VOICE: WHOA-
VOICE 2: WHOOPS-
PAGE FIVE
PANEL ONE: THE EGGS TUMBLE DOWN THE MOUTAINSIDE.
CAPTION: THE EGGS TUMBLE DOWN THE MOUNTAINSIDE.
VOICE: HEY! OH!
VOICE 2: OOF! WHA-
PANEL TWO: THE EGGS BOUNCE OFF ROCKS.
VOICE: OH! OH!
VOICE 2: HOW! HOO!
PANEL THREE: THE EGGS SPLASH INTO THE RIVER.
PANEL FOUR: THE EGGS FLOAT DOWN THE RIVER.
CAPTION: THE EGGS FLOAT DOWN THE RIVER.
PANEL FIVE: THE EGGS ARE NEXT TO A BOAT. A MAN IN A CHEF'S HAT IN THE BOAT IS WAVING A LARGE NET.
MAN: HO HO! THESE MAGNIFICENT EGGS WILL BE THE PERFECT FEAST FOR THE YOUNG PRINCE!
VOICE: !
VOICE 2: !
CAPTION:WILL THE SPOILY CHILDREN END UP AS BREAKFAST AFTER ALL? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU WERE SERVED DETECTIVE CHILDREN FOR BREAKFAST? MORE TO COME!
SPOILY PART THIRTEEN
PAGE ONE
TITLE
SYNOPSIS: THE SPOILY CHILDREN WERE ALMOST ABOUT TO STOP A BOGUS CORONATION, BUT THEN THEY WERE SWALLOWED BY A BIRD, AND TURNED INTO EGGS! THEN THE ROYAL CHEF FOUND THEM...
PANEL ONE: THE ENORMOUS EGGS ARE IN THE ROYAL KITCHENS, IN FRONT OF THE ROYAL CHEF.
CHEF: HIS YOUNG HIGHNESS WILL REALLY ENJOY THESE HUGE EGGS I FOUND IN THE RIVER!
PANEL TWO: I'M JUST GONNA GO AHEAD AND POP THESE IN THE OVEN!
VOICE: !
VOICE 2: !
PANEL THREE: THE CHEF IS STARTLED BY VOICES COMING OUT OF THE EGGS.
VOICE: DON'T DO THAT!
VOICE 2: NOT THE OVEN!
PANEL FOUR: THE CHEF CONSIDERS THE EGGS.
CHEF: MAGIC TALKING EGGS! I GOTTA SHOW THESE TO THE PRINCE, HE'S GONNA LOVE THIS!
PAGE TWO
PANEL ONE: THE PRINCE IS SITTING AT A TABLE WITH WEIRD DISHES ON IT. BIG HEAD RANDALL IS SITTING NEXT TO HIM. THE TIGER-HEADED MAN IS NEARBY, WITH BIX IN A GOOFY DISGUISE,
RANDALL: HAVE SOME MORE GRAFULUINUAK, YOUR HIGHNESS?
PRINCE: NO, THANK YOU.
PANEL TWO: RANDALL SIGNALS TO TIGER-HEAD.
PANEL THREE: TIGER-HEAD LEANS IN AS RANDALL WHISPERS.
RANDALL: LET'S MAKE THE SWITCH NOW!
PANEL FOUR: TIGER-HEAD MOVES UP BEHIND THE PRINCE WITH A SACK AS RANDALL DISTRACTS HIM.
RANDALL: HAVE SOME MORE PRIASNFULKIA, YOUR HIGHNESS?
PANEL FIVE: THE SCENE IS INTERRUPTED.
VOICE: YOUR HIGHNESS! YOUR HIGHNESS!
PANEL SIX: THE CHEF WHEELS IN THE GIANT EGGS.
CHEF: YOU MUST SEE THESE GIANT TALKING EGGS!
PAGE THREE
PANEL ONE: THE PRINCE STANDS TO LOOK AT THE EGGS.
PRINCE: TALKING EGGS?
RANDALL: AW, THOSE EGGS ARE STUPID! GET RID OF 'EM!
PANEL TWO: A POLICE OFFICIAL ENTERS WITH SOME POLICEMEN.
OFFICIAL: YOUR HIGHNESS, THE POLICE ARE HERE TO SALUTE YOU!
PRINCE: WONDERFUL, COMMISSIONER! I WAS JUST ADMIRING THESE GIANT EGGS...
PANEL THREE: THE EGGS. CRACKS BEGIN TO APPEAR.
PANEL FOUR. AS THE PEOPLE IN THE ROOM WATCH, THE CRACKS SEPARATE THE TOPS OF THE EGGS.
PANEL FIVE: THE TOPS OF THE EGGS POP OFF, REVEALING THE S'POILY CHILDREN.
PANEL SIX: THE PRINCE AND THE COMMISSIONER.
PRINCE: WHAT THE-
COMMISSIONER: I KNOW THEM, THEY ARE THE FAMOUS CHILD DETECTIVES THE S'POILYS! BUT HOW-
PANEL SEVEN: THE CHILDREN POINT AT BIG HEAD RANDALL AND THE TIGER-HEAD MAN.
RICHARD & ISABELLA: ARREST THEM!
PAGE FOUR
PANEL ONE: A PASSENGER LINER ON THE OCEAN.
VOICE: ANOTHER CASE SUCCESSFULLY CONCLUDED!
PANEL TWO: THE CHILDREN STANDING AT THE RAILS OF THE SHIP. OTHER PEOPLE ARE ABOUT. THE KIDS ARE WEARING HUGE MEDALS.
ISABELLA: ADVENTURE CERTAINLY SEEMS TO FIND US!
RICHARD: IT'S MORE INTERESTING THAN SCHOOL, YOU MUST ADMIT!
PANEL THREE: A FIGURE LURKS IN THE SHADOWS.
CAPTION: BUT, IN THE SHADOWS...
FIGURE: BAH! THOSE SPOILY CHILDREN! THEY MUST NOT DISCOVER MY OPERATION...
PANEL FOUR: THE FIGURE BECOMES MORE VISIBLE, HE IS A WEIRD-LOOKING MAD DOCTOR TYPE.
DOCTOR: ...OR THE ROBOT PARTS I HAVE HIDDEN IN MY CONSIGNMENT OF ANTIQUE SUITS OF ARMOR!
PANEL FIVE: THE DOCTOR LOOKS AT THE KIDS BY THE RAILING.
DOCTOR: I SHOULD TRY TO PUSH THEM OVERBOARD, RIGHT NOW!
PANEL SIX: THE DOCTOR PUSHES OPEN A DOOR.
DOCTOR: BUT I SHALL SAVE THAT FOR LATER! NOW TO COMPLETE MY FIRST ROBOT SOLDIER!
PANEL SEVEN: THE DOCTOR IN SHADOWS.
DOCTOR: NO-ONE MUST DISCOVER MY SECRET WORKSHOP!
PAGE FIVE
PANEL ONE: THE MAD DOCTOR IN HIS WORKSHOP. THERE ARE TWO SUITS OF ARMOR AGAINST THE WALL, AND A ROBOT ON A TABLE, PARTLY-ASSEMBLED.
DOCTOR: SOON, MY ROBOT BEAUTY, YOU SHALL SMITE PEOPLE WHO ANNOY ME!
PANEL TWO: THE DOCTOR MOVES OFF.
DOCTOR: BUT EVEN I MUST USE THE TOILET! BAH!
PANEL THREE: THE DOCTOR PASSES THE SUITS OF ARMOR.
DOCTOR: ALSO MAYBE I SHOULD EAT SOMETHING...
PANEL FOUR: THE SUITS OF ARMOR.
SFX: SLAM
PANEL FIVE: THE SUITS OF ARMOR. VOICES COME OUT FROM THEM.
VOICE: ANOTHER SCOUNDREL, ISABELLA!
VOICE 2: LET'S FOIL HIS PLANS!
CAPTION: THE END