I’ve been avoiding going ahead with this blog. I need to do it, but other things kept coming up, and there was never enough time to do this properly… but the truth is, I’m scared. Scared of what I might say, and how I might look when I’m saying it.
In some ways, my life is a beautiful dream. I have a wife and son I love very much and every day has some joy in it. I’m a lucky man, and I never let myself forget it.
In other ways, my life is a horrifying nightmare. I’m struggling. My ‘career’ as an illustrator ended some time ago, but it wasn’t worth pursuing anyway. As a comic artist, I have fans and people who enjoy my work. Unfortunately, none of them is an editor or in a position to introduce other people to it. The fight to keep money coming in is a never-ending source of anguish. I feel like a profound failure, a feeling it’s impossible to shake.
I believe part of my problem is that, with 30 years of work behind me, most people (even in comics) don’t know who I am or why what I do is special. I am a unique artist, working in territory removed from nearly everyone else. This may be why I’m practically invisible- I don’t fit easily in any category.
I feel I’ve been profoundly let down- and at times- humiliated- by the media and publishing system I’ve worked for nearly all my adult life. I started my career in the 20th century, which is one of my biggest liabilities. I’m trying to adapt to a 21st-century model with my Patreon and with my upcoming Kickstarter to fund a collection of my humorous work. I’m not giving up!